A queen deserves to always wear a crown. A year ago today you were crowned and given yours. I'd like to believe that it is adorned with the most beautiful rubies ever seen. Beauty to match that of your beautiful soul that now rests in the Father’s arms.
It’s just what I’d like to imagine. I know you would probably call me overly deep for thinking about pretty little rubies and crowns and trying to be slightly poetic. But I do it anyway because thinking of you that way has made this past year just a bit easier. There’s no poetic way to say I miss you. No creative and artistic way to have worded the prayer I prayed time and time again asking God to send you back for at least one more hug. For one more kiss on the cheek, or one more fuss out (preferably directed at someone else other than me because you know I don’t like getting in trouble).
I wish I could tell you that I handled your passing with the strength you taught me and expected me to have. I really didn’t. It doesn’t matter how long you were here or how long I had you. All those years didn’t make it hurt any less. My gratefulness for having had that last visit with you didn’t overshadow the sadness I’ve felt of that having been my last visit. But there are some things I know to be true and I know would make you smile. So if for any reason heaven has an inbox or the internet I want you to know these things.
1. You raised your family well. From the oldest to the youngest, mother, I am proud to say that what I have seen this last year has been nothing less than the unity and strength you worked so hard to instill in us.
2. We know better now the God you love so dearly. We won’t turn from Him because He has, is, and will forever care for us as He did for you for 94 years.
3. We will always love you. Forever.
You said that so long as we are together we will be alright. Not a day goes by that you aren’t on my mind. But I know now that as we have gone from me being your angel to you being mine, that just means that we are still together and I know we will be alright.
I have this dream that when I get to heaven I’ll see you, and you’ll stand there with your arms wide open waiting for me to run into them just like I always did. 21 years will never have been enough for me in my mind. But hey, an eternity is so much better!
See you later Mother (not too soon though),